So, i've been having one hell of a month. I hurt my back at work, I got some random stomach sickness that caused me to be in severe pain, when leaving for Florida, my plane got hit by a flock of geese and we had to do an emergency landing, and to top it off, Monday, my grandfather died. And with all of this, I'm surprised i'm as put together as I am. Granted, I was walking around work today in a complete haze. I've been trying to keep myself busy so that I dont have to think about anything, which generally only works for a little bit, and then everything hits you at once and you cry extremely hard and you don't even know if you'll stop crying. I figure i'll let that day be the day of the viewing. Of course, i cried when I found out. I couldn't even stand, my dad had to hold me up. If i'm left alone with my thoughts for too long, it gets to me. However, through all of this, it makes me realize how great my family is. The second he died, everyone flew over there, the house was full almost immediately. Everyone had been in the middle of cooking dinner, so they just brought it over later so everyone could eat, and so my grandmother didn't have to worry about anything. I think I feel the worst for her. I dont know what she'll do now. Her whole life was taking care of my grandfather. I worry about her being by herself. I mean, my Uncle Bobby lives there, but it's not the same. It's so hard to think about. They were just living in my house 2 months ago. He would sit in his little rocker and yell up EVERY time the phone rang, like we couldn't hear it or something. He was a grumpy old man, but he was our grumpy old man. I'm gonna miss his random innapropriate jokes that you weren't quite sure you should be hearing from your grandfather, but that you had to sit through because you knew that it would make him happy. I definantly miss him, but I'm happy that my family is the way it is. We're a strong family, and we'll get through it and we'll help my grandmother get through it the best way we know how. By smothering her and hanging around the house and making her take care of us so she'll be able to keep busy. I'm sure no one will have any complaints, we all practically do it now. One of us hears there's some good food being served, and 10 or so people are sure to follow. She won't get rid of us for awhile, but i'm sure she wouldn't have it any other way.
I seriously need a new layout. Unfortunately with my computer being dead I am unable to make one. I've kind of been feeling unhappy lately, and I realized the other day its because I A) Have no computer and B) Have made no graphics of any kind in ages, which makes me sad. I've been feeling inspired lately, but with no computer and no PSP or Photoshop, im screwed.
I just renewed my paid account on here, which is awesome cuz I got all my icons I had uploaded as userpics back. Which I thought I lost since my computer died.
Now, I just need a nifty new layout. If anyone knows where I can find free layouts for LJ that look nice or has some spare ones laying around that they've made for their LJ and don't use anymore and are willing to lend it to me, I'd be super happy and would give you loads of credit. thanks. Maybe i'll buy something for someone for their LJ or something. 100 userpics for 2 months, anyone? rock on.
I love how NOW everyone decides to jump on the bandwagon and dislike Jess. Oh well, except my boyfriend of course, who still has her on a fucking pedistal. Im chilling down here on my little step stool, while she's up there with MY fucking tiara.
whatever, im going to go play poker with my brothers friends.
I dont know which is harder... talking to him or not talking to him. I thought it'd be easier just ignoring him, but when you go for over 3 months of talking to someone every single day and then you just stop, its hard. I hate that it hits me at random times during the day. But Im glad I have the friends that I do because without them I wouldn't have made it through the day as well as I did.
Yeah, so it's been almost a month since I last posted. This is probably just going to become a personal journal. I dont really make any icons anymore. I've just been so busy. Last night was like the first night in a LONG time that I actually didn't go out. I just dont feel like doing stuff on the computer much anymore except check my mail, my myspace, my facebook and livejournal. Since no one from work except Amber reads this, I figure I can talk freely. So, yeah... Im now going out with Rob, my friend who i've known for over a year. So yay for that. Cuz I've liked him for quite awhile. lol. We're sort of keeping it from people at work because neither of us like our business out there. Plus, since he works in the install bay (putting crap into cars lol) he gets to hide from everyone, so when people find out about us, most likely they'll all be coming to me to ask about us, if they even do. Hopefully they dont. That'd be awesome. lol. So yeah, thats sort of why I'm never home. I've been hanging out with him and the folks from work.
Today's a hard day. Its the 7 year anniversary of my aunts death. I was going to go up to see her grave for the first time since she died, but I didnt have enough money for gas and it was miserable outside. Its just so weird because it doesn't feel like it's been 7 years. It feels like I just saw her.
I dont know... life has been pretty good. These past few months have been pretty awesome. Kind of too much drama for me, but alot of good has come along also. So, Im definantly grateful for that. I think im gonna go watch more tv. I am enjoying my day off. TV time is good time.
New LOST tonight! Rock on!
Your Life As A Playlist:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if they don't make sense.
You'll be surprised though.
How am I feeling today?
- The Way You Are
Will I get far in life?
How do my friends see me?
- Chop Me Up
Where will I get married?
- I Miss You Now
What is my best friend's theme song?
- Mr. Writer
What is the story of my life?
- Everythings Just Wonderful
What was high school like?
- Leave You On The Pavement
How can I get ahead in life?
- Only When I Lose Myself
What is the best thing about me?
What was today like?
What is in store for this weekend?
- Momentary Thing
What song describes my parents?
How is my life going?
- Hold On
What song will they play at my funeral?
- Punk Rock Princess
How does the world see me?
- Waiting on the World to Change
Will I have a happy life?
What do my friends really think of me?
- Holding Out for a Hero
Do people secretly lust after me?
- I know I know I know
How can I make myself happy?
- She's Like the Wind
What should I do with my life?
- The Funeral
What will my children be like?
- I'll Catch You
What will you name them?
- Track 3
What will the person you marry be like?
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
- One Time Too Many
Will you have a fulfilling life?
How will you die?
- Red Light Special
hahahahahahaa... this rocks. Some of them were actually funny/cute. Though, I kept wanting to listen to the songs all the way through. Changing it now, though, dont feel like listening to Red Light Special.
Anywho, I haven't updated in forever. Life has been crazy busy. I dont have much time to get on the computer. I have alot of things coming up. Common Rotation show on the 24th, I took off the 17th and 18th, however, I dont know what im doing now. I was supposed to go to Baltimore, but because of someone deciding to stab me in the back, I've decided it's not best to go now. Then April 9th and 10th, I'm going to NYC with Amby Pamby, Jim and Rob. That should be awesome. Amber and I are gonna be such camera geeks. lol. Its cool, I love us.
Im gonna go get ready to watch my night of tv. I have off tonight and I actually dont have plans for once. Which is actually exciting. lol. I love my tv time and I haven't watched much lately. Americas Next Top Model, One Tree Hill and Lost, here I come! Oh, I am lame. Oh well....
If anyone could tell me where I could find some good quality Office UK caps, I would love you forever. I've been watching clips from it, and I've been wanting to watch all the episodes over again, but haven't had time. But I would LOVE caps. Thanks guys.
I tried to make a new layout. The colors are being dumb. Oh well, I've given up on it. I made the layout Dexter/Michael C. Hall cuz he rocks my world. Tra la.